Without A Word
by PeculiarMaleficent
Summary: It's been a decade and a half and she still haven't got the explanation or the closure she deserves. Seeing her again brought back memories she thought she was able to compartmentalize. Can she finally get the answers that she had been waiting for 15 years? Or things will turnout different the way she never imagined. but... things are already different now.. is it not?
1. Chapter 1

**Hi! This is my second Rizzles fanfic and I know some people were asking for a follow up of the story but I apologize to everyone but I wouldn't make a follow up of it. Sorry!**

**Anyways, I got my inspiration on writing this fic after watching a Filipino film called "Starting Over Again" although I used some of the lines and scene from the movie, it'll be a lot more different from it. I was caught with the scenes from it that I can't help but picturing Rizzles as them. **

**Disclaimer: Rizzoli & Isles characters and story is not mine. I don't gain from writing this aside from new friends' maybe. And "starting over again" lines and story is not mine as well.. Also, Mistakes are mine :)**

**Here it is! **

* * *

"Maura Isles! I love you!" A shout was heard from the corridor of the High School. It was from a deep husky voice of the fifteen years old Jane Rizzoli. If you weren't listening to it closely, you would have thought that the voice belongs to a young man because of its huskiness and deepness. She had been shouting the name of Maura Isles ever since she caught a glimpse of the girl in question—no, not really. She had a glimpse of Maura a week after the honey blonde transferred from the boring old boarding school she was in. Jane was walking with her best friend, Emma when she saw her. She has this finesse on her that made her looked like she didn't belong in an institution of poor kids.

Maura Isles clearly captivated Jane Rizzoli.

Jane then searched everything about her. As she found interesting facts about the transferee, the more she seemed to be drawn with the woman. She honestly didn't know what to do, all she know is that weirdly enough, she fell in love with one Maura Dorothea Isles.

Therefore, she made it a habit to shout her name in the corridor, gymnasium, cafeteria, and any other place full of people where the woman can't see her. It was a habit, but at the same time, her nerves makes it difficult for her to actually talk to the woman she fancied for quite some time.

With the last shout, Jane felt satisfaction run through her veins. She didn't actually saw if Maura heard her or if Maura turned around to see who was calling her name and saying those three words that she was oddly familiar with.

All that matters is that, Jane let it out again. And it felt good.

She turned around and saw Maura leaning on the wall with all of her glory. The rays of the sun were entering the hall and it made it look like she was an angel smirking at her.

She was caught.

She was about to move but Maura moved towards the place where she was going. To Emma, who has the mixed of embarrassment and teasing glint on her face.

"Finally, Miss Rizzoli." Maura stated.

Jane was floored. She smiled at Maura timidly, showing her dimples as if it will save her from embarrassment.

* * *

_The first time I met you, I didn't like you. It felt like someone was telling me that you are nothing but a severe headache. That, you're nothing but a trickster who loves to shout people's name in the corridor for fun._

* * *

The calling of name stopped.

Jane almost died of embarrassment when Maura saw her on the corridor after the incident. Therefore, she stopped running around and shouting about an undying love for the woman that caught her heart. Every time she see the woman in the corridor, she would just smile and if Maura was looking, she would mouth "I love you"—sometimes it is with hand signals. Maura would just shook her head at the gestures.

It was a lost cause.

She knew it and it wouldn't change anything at all.

The woman was on a pedestal and Jane was like a peasant admiring the beauty of the goddess that was above her. More than anything else, she wants to be _above_ her.

Jane shook her head at the thought. Although, it was interesting enough the thought of a woman wearing nothing but her is a nice idea.

"Stop day dreaming, you perve!" Emma threw a piece of paper on her face. She didn't noticed it but she was grinning so big that it makes Emma want to vomit. "I didn't know you're that much of a lesbian, Rizzoli. Looking at women like they're fresh meat. Wow!" Emma commented.

They were currently sitting under the bleachers watching the football team practice, though, their line of sight were more focus on the cheering squad.

"No, I'm not a lesbian, you idiot." She denied.

"Oh yeah? Then why watch the tight-ass cheer dancers then?" Emma countered.

"I wasn't looking at those bitches." She said.

Emma looked at her confusedly and looked at the ladies again. She didn't see anything.

"Then what are you looking at?"

"Her." She just said. Nodding towards the cheer group once again.

Emma narrowed her eyes, looking for something she doesn't actually know. She was about to give up when she saw her.

Of course.

Maura Isles was on the bleachers, reading god knows what.

"And you say you are not a lesbian." She commented at her friend who was still looking dreamily at the woman who was too engage with her books to even feel what is happening around her.

"No. More like Maura-sexual." She said.

* * *

Jane was waiting outside the Chemistry Laboratory for Maura. She didn't exactly know what she was about to do. All she knew is that, she wanted to do this. It is a proposal and if she didn't answer, so be it. No, it doesn't mean she'll stop trying.

The bell rung.

Students from the chem. Lab were slowly leaving the room, she nodded at some who would look at her with smirks on their faces, knowing that she would be talking to the geek of the class. The last one to exit was the teacher who gave her a nod.

"She's there. Be quick. You have at least fifteen minutes to finish what you're doing to do." And with that, the teacher exited hallway.

"Did you know that it takes ninety seconds and four minutes to decide if you fancy someone?" she started. Startling the honey blonde that was so focused on her microscope that she didn't noticed that she has company.

"Research has shown this has little to do with what is said, rather fifty five percent is through body language. Thirty-eight is the tone and speed of their voice and only seven percent is through what they say. Helen Fisher of Rutgers University in the states has proposed three stages of love—lust, attraction, and attachment. Each stage might be driven by different hormones and chemicals. The first stage which is lust is driven by the sex hormones testosterone and estrogen- in both men and women. When I first saw you, I knew I liked you. You have this certain aura that makes me want to hug you, kiss you, and just be with you but aside from it, I know that my hormones were trying to say that I have to tap that. With all due respect." She paused and grinned at the woman who was looking at her questioningly.

"Stage two, Attraction. Did you know that scientist think that three main neurotransmitters are involved in this stage? They are adrenaline, dopamine, and serotonin. Every time I see you, I could feel adrenaline rushing through my veins, my hands starts to sweat, my heart races and my mouth goes dry. I don't need to have my brain to be examine to discover that I have high levels of the dopamine. Because, I can't sleep thinking about you—as cheesy as it sounds, it's true. And finally, you are everywhere. I am not talking about physically but mentally. You've been popping in my head even when I'm trying to brush my teeth or eat corndogs during lunch." She said breathing deeply

"Corndogs are not healthy, Miss Rizzoli." Jane chuckled at the response. She continued.

"and lastly, attachment. I haven't gone to that stage yet because we aren't together… yet. But one thing is for sure, if we ever become a couple, I know… I wouldn't want anybody else. I would gladly stick with you till the end, even if it means I have to handcuff myself to you." She smiled.

"All I am saying is that, I know how you want to put everything into research. You don't believe things unless you have through roughly researched it. I am just proving a point Maura. I've searched about the science of love and that's what I've got so close to, to explain how I feel. I believe that if you have to say something, you have to do it fast."

"What are you saying, Miss Rizzoli?" Maura asked.

"You are by far the dumbest genius I ever know." Jane commented but upon seeing the fallen face of Maura, she immediately tried to revive herself. "What I am saying is that. I love you. I am in love with you, Maura Dorothea Isles. And today, February 14, 1996 marks the start of our romance. Happy Valentine's Day, Maura." She said giving the white tiger lily that she bought for Maura. "Next year, it's gonna be 'Happy Anniversary', okay?" She said coyly before leaving.

Maura, smiled at the absurdity of the situation but rather than that, flattered with the gesture from the woman.

* * *

_But then, I knew there is something special on you. You have that spirit._

* * *

Jane and Emma were walking down the halls when she found Martinez trying to punch a gay kid on the corridors. He was roughly shoving the kid on the lockers. Emma held Jane back knowing how she hate the guy but she wasn't able to do anything when Jane shrugged her hand and add herself on the duo.

"Martinez!" Jane shouted.

"Oh.. if isn't Gayzzoli! Trying to fight for the gay?" He sneers.

"No. You just have to stop." She said calmly.

"or what? you'll punch me? Unless, your girlfriend asked you not to be violent." He said.

"I don't have a girlfriend." She said abruptly.

"So, you wouldn't mind if I tap Isles? I'm sure she's tight." He said. What he didn't saw was the steam coming off from Jane. She punched her square on the face. She locked him by putting his hand on his back but he was strong. He was able to escape the hold and punched on the face.

"You know, I don't normally punch girls. Oh, but you are not a girl." He said before trying to punch her again. He is strong but Jane is faster. She was able to maneuver and dodge the attack. She was able kick him behind his knee. It wasn't that much but it was able make him kneel.

"Stop bothering the kids you asshole!" she said before walking away from the scene. Martinez was about to jump on her again when he was shoved on the lockers by a big guy from the football team. It was the kid's brother.

"Thanks." The guy said.

Jane just raised her hand acknowledging the gratitude.

She was about to exit and walked toward Emma when someone help her hand and pull her towards an empty room. She was about to yank the hand when it spoke.

"Are you that drastic, Miss Rizzoli?"

"Jane." She said.

"What?"

"My name is Jane." She said wiping the blood from her lips when she taste iron on it.

"Don't touch it. It'll be infected. Why did you do it?" She asked quietly whilst cleaning the wound with cotton and alcohol.

"I don't know. I guess, I just don't want people hurting other people. I lived with my mother and was left by my father I live with her and my brothers. I know the psychological effect of things when don't go your way. That kid is a gay, he lived in a Catholic family for a while, they were homophobe just like Martinez. He was a foster kid and they didn't want him. It was bad enough that he was treated like that from before, it was a good thing that he was able to find a family with Zac—the big guy. I don't like it when people try to inflict pain to others just because they want to." She explain

"Thank you." Maura said quietly.

"For what?" asked confusedly.

"Defending me." She replied shortly.

"I love you. Isn't that reason enough?" she asked arching her brow.

"But you said you are not gay."

"I'm not and I know I'll burn to hell if I'll be one. Catholic teachings." She said.

"Aren't you afraid?"

"I am…" she said.

"But you love me." Maura replied as she put the plaster on Jane's wound.

"You can't help who you love." She stood up and thanked Maura. She was on the door when she looked back.

"Plus, I'm Maura-sexual" She said before leaving.

* * *

_You made me admire you more when you let me see your world._

_You are by far the bravest girl I've ever met. _

_Days… weeks… months passed_

_I don't know because you opened your heart to me; I don't know what worked more for you, your persistence or your prayers. I think it is because you prayed so hard, being a devoted Catholic makes you do that. I wouldn't know because I am not one._

* * *

Jane was crying on the stare cases of the gymnasium when Maura saw her. It wasn't like her to actually show to people that she is crying. But today is different. Being rejected sucks.

Maura opened the door of her car and called Jane. She opened the passenger side of the car and let Jane enter. They were sitting quietly when Maura started reading the letter that she found on her locker after her last class…

"That's why, I'm giving myself a dead line. And that's on my last Christmas on the campus. I've put this letter today, November 25 for you to read and for you to know." Maura continue reading. "It's today. So, I have ultimatum?" Maura smirked.

"Actually, it's until December 25." Jane said quietly.

"ahhhh" Maura chuckled. "Here, this is my favourite part of the letter: 'they say: Give love on Christmas day. So, give me love, Ms. Isles. But if you feel nothing for me, just tell, how do I unlove you?'" she finished sweetly.

Jane looked at her sadly. She breathed deeply before replying.

"Please Maura, if you will reject me, can you not do it today?" she said with a timid voice. "because it will be my second rejection. It's too painful already."

"You got rejected?" Maura asked concerned.

Jane nodded.

"I got my BCU letter today. I didn't get it. They said, it was because of financial problems," She said before started crying again. Maura immediately got some tissues from the dashboard to give it to Jane.

"Well, it's their lost. If they didn't want you there, why waste your time from crying. There are many other schools to look at. I'm sure, they're going to regret the fact that they did not want you, once you became successful. And, for me, you don't need to be in a prestigious school for me to fall in love with you." Maura finished with a sweet smile and adoring eyes that stares at the profile of the crying Italian.

Jane stopped crying.

"I don't want you to unlove me, Ms. Rizzoli."

"what?" Jane asked dumbly.

"Because I love you." She stated.

Jane looked like she didn't know what to do. She was on the verge of hyperventilating and passing out.

"Y-you love me?" Jane asked skeptically.

Maura nodded.

"Y-you are my g-girlfriend?" she asked with wide eyes.

"yes."

"I-I am your girlfriend?" She asked. Maura stared at her amusedly. It was as though she finds it really funny and at the same time, she can't help but think how adorable Jane was for asking these questions to her.

"yes." She answered coyly.

"Fuck! Shit!" Jane shouted and it made Maura grimaced at the foul words from the girl. "Thank you! Merry Christmas!" Jane hysterically shouted. And Maura smiled at her trying to make herself calm and not laugh at the reaction she was seeing.

"I love you! I love you! I love you! If you only knew!" There it was again, the shouting of I love you's but this time, it was directed to the woman Jane loved for so long. She was shaking the other woman who was smiling brightly at her. "I might kiss you now!" She said aloud.

"I can kiss you right?" she asked thinking that she still can't.

"yes." Maura said.

Jane leaned and slowly captured the It was as soft as she imagined but it was different from what she had dreamt for so long. This is the first time she was able to experience this kind of euphoria. Touching Maura's lips felt like the heavens opened their gate and the angels above were playing a soft symphony. She then, felt like her senses were misted up and all that's left is to feel. Feel Maura's hands trying to weave on her messy tresses soothing her nerves. Feel the soft tongue that slowly pushed past her lips. She nipped at Maura's bottom lip before pushing her tongue back into her mouth. Maura, ever slowly dragging her other hand to Jane's cheek and caress it with care. The delicate contact made her feel something she hasn't felt before.

**Loved.**

* * *

_More than two years and I thought we were good. More than two years going on forever… or so I thought. I don't know why or how…or when it started. What happened to the two of us? Why did we break up? Why did you leave me?_

_But today, I resolve to stop bothering you. I have decided to let you be. And give you the space that you asked for. I am uncertain if you'll be able to read this letter but I'll be leaving for Paris. My mother asked me to be with her and study Forensic Pathology there. Just like I promised you. I'll be a medical examiner and you'll be a detective. We will both find solutions to every case that we handle. Although now, I am not sure if we will ever see each other again._

_I do not know if you'll be back in my life… but I wanted to be in yours. _

_I will do anything to win you back if life wants me to. And I am hoping that we will have our second chance._

_All the love,_

_M. Isles._

* * *

**So, what do you guys think?**

**Prologue starts with high school Rizzles, but the next one will be couple of years after the letter.**

**Oh.. at some point during the course of writing this I listened to Birdy's Without A Word, hence the title. :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hello guys! Thank you for all the follows and comments.. I deeply appreciated it!**

**Guest: haha hindi, di ko gagawin yung ending na ganun sa Rizzles.**

**Anyways, I finished this chapter 2am last night and didn't had the chance to edit and all.. :D**

**So, Rizzoli and Isles is still not mine. not ever.**

* * *

_A decade and a half later..._

* * *

_All the love,_

_M. Isles_

It has been a decade and a half. Seeing the letter brought back memories that Jane thought she kept hidden in a cold storage. She didn't noticed that tears were falling from her eyes, she didn't know that this could still affect her.

She thought she could escape the memories. She thought she could just go on her life and pretend that things didn't happened.

That she moved on.

But one letter.

One letter that was written to her a decade a half made her feel guilty and miserable as hell.

She was an ass. She still is.

* * *

_Sunday evening when she saw the letter. It fell off from an old chemistry book that she knew she didn't own. At first she thought the book was Tommy's since the kid is one hell of a bright mind but when he asked him, he told her that it wasn't his._

_It wasn't until she saw the initials on the book._

_M. I._

_It belonged to only one person._

_Maura Isles._

_The woman she left._

_She then asked her mom about the letter. She even accused her of hiding the letter to her._

_Angela denied it._

_Of course she didn't. She told Jane that she gave the letter to her when she returned from her run. It was one chilly morning when Maura dropped by and gave the letter to Angela. The woman loved Maura so dearly like her own, she even asked if she wanted a breakfast because she cooked but oddly, Maura declined._

_Angela never knew the nature of her daughter and Maura's, all she knew is that there was something different about them, however, she didn't dare to ask. After leaving the letter, Maura politely bid goodbye to the Mama Rizzoli. _

_When Jane entered the house that time, Angela immediately gave the letter to her. Jane has a mixed of disbelief and dread on her face when she learned who gave the letter._

"_**Where is she mom?" She asked.**_

"_**She left immediately after she gave the letter. She even declined the breakfast that I made. What happened Jane?"**_

_Jane didn't answer the question. _

_She never did._

_Angela continued the story and said that Jane abruptly grab the letter from the table top and run towards her room. Angela even commented about how it was rude for Jane to turn her back on her own Mom, to which of course Jane answered with an eyeroll._

_Jane then remembered going to her room and read the letter immediately, she felt she was on fire. Something told her that, what she was about to read will change everything, but she also remembered getting a phone call asking her to accompany a police in patrolling for that day, she just gotten the rookie position that time, meaning, she can't say no and that the letter can wait._

_That was when she remembered seeing the book on laying on her desk tuck the letter in and when she went home that night, she saw the book and shook her head._

_It was time to let go._

_And it will start with all of the tangible things._

_She forgot about the letter._

_She put the book inside her drawer. She didn't noticed the white envelope sticking a bit from the damn Chemistry book. All what was on her mind was the feeling of tiredness from the shift and that seeing the book made her want to curl up on her bed and cry because of remorse. Seeing the book made her feel like an ass for giving up something she never wanted to give up. _

_Ever._

_But she did it anyways._

_The letter was long forgotten._

_So as the memories she thought she forgot._

* * *

"You okay in there?"

Jane didn't noticed that someone entered the little apartment she was living in. She was too focused on the neat and legible handwriting of Maura Isles.

"No. I don't think I was ever okay." She said absentmindedly.

"What happened?" The intruder asked.

"Got a fifteen year old letter." She said showing the one-page handwritten letter. It was immediately snatch by the person and read it silently. Jane was looking at the person waiting for a comment on how she was an ass and that she should be put in jail for causing pain to a person.

"Wow!" was all she heard and saw the big green eyes of her companion grew bigger than its normal size.

"What? Just wow?!" She exclaimed.

"I-I mean, did science of love Maura Isles really wrote you this letter?" She asked.

"Yes, you can see on the she written her name at the end of the letter, Emma!"

"Chill dude! What are you going to do now?" She asked whilst removing her high heels.

"I want to find her but I am not sure if she wants me to. It's been fifteen years Ems. I don't know if she still wanted me." She said solemnly.

"She said on her letter that she wanted to be in your life again if you wanted to. Maybe there's a chance." She said.

"But that is all in the past, Swan. Past. That's the operative word. Maybe she moved on." She said.

"Maybe. But what if she didn't? what if she's still waiting for you to show up."

Jane shrugged.

"Guess who I saw." She paused. "High School Queen Bitch!" Emma smirked.

"The love of your life Queen Bitch?" Jane asked, an eyebrow rose.

"What do you mean love of my life? She's hot, it is a given and she's still hot but she was never the love of my life." She said coyly. "And unlike you, I am not a lesbian." She shrugged.

"I told you, I am not a lesbian." Jane retort.

"Yeah, M-sexual." Emma teased remembering the words that she used when they were under the bleachers.

"So, Queen Bitch?" Jane continued.

"Oh yeah, I saw her after I deposited the guy I fake dated." She said.

"So, that's why you are wearing your only dress. And pink." Jane teased.

"ANYWAYS… I saw her and she gave me her number." Emma quirked her eyebrows.

"and you say you are not a lesbian." Jane jested before heading off to her room but not before seeing Emma flipping her the finger.

She shook her head and laughed.

She laughed until she saw the photograph of her and Maura that had been sitting on her desk. The picture was taken during their High School graduation.

* * *

"_We graduated!" Jane shouted._

"_We did!" Maura replied enthusiastically._

"_You are going to BCU. I am going to Boston PD Academy."Jane said leaning her forehead to Maura's._

"_We are." Maura whispered._

"_We are going to solve crime together. I'll wait for you, you know. I know I'll probably graduate first, since it will all be training and afterwards, I'll be a police officer and detective. I'll wait for you to become the greatest Medical Examiner, not that I don't think you are great now, you know." Jane babbled._

_Maura just laughed but nodded in agreement. Jane enclosed Maura in a tight embrace, like sealing a deal only two of them knew._

_That was their dream._

_That was their forever._

_Angela showed up and interrupted their hugging session only to ask for a photo of the two. Jane not so gracefully put her arms on Maura's shoulders._

_Angela snapped the picture._

* * *

Up to this day, the picture is still existing and Jane didn't know if Maura still as hers. That picture reminds her of why she decided to become a cop.

It reminded her before that there was a forever.

When fairytale still existed. Even in a twisted way.

Seeing the picture now, brought back extreme guilt that she kept all this time.

She didn't know why she did what she did—No, she knew exactly why and she still hadn't forgotten why. She just chose to ignore it.

She flipped her laptop opened. She clicked a few buttons and found a folder that she kept for a long while. Pictures of Maura, her and Maura, Maura with Little Bass and Jo Friday.

Everything Maura.

She remembered looking at those hazel eyes full of wonders and joy. Then, she came across a picture that Emma took.

They both didn't know about it until Jane was transferring the files. They were having a vacation after graduation. Jane was looking at Maura full of love and admiration and Maura was laughing beautifully with her head tilted upwards. Out of all the Mauras, that was her favourite Maura.

Happy.

_God! Why?! Why?! I am so stupid. For fifteen years, I didn't contact her. I didn't even tried to find her._

Maybe it was pride.

Jane didn't know, and she know now was that she was so stupid to let someone as perfect as Maura Isles go.

Oooo

Jane woke up still feeling the remorse running through her body. She needed a drink but it's eight o'clock in the morning and getting a beer wouldn't be a good idea at all.

She entered the department trying to guess what was happening. Everyone was fussing around as if a firecracker was stick into their ass making them anxious about something. They were just going to meet the new Medical Examiner for Christ sake!

"What's the fuss?" Jane asked Frost, her partner.

"we'll be meeting Dr. Isles today." Frost said.

"Isles?" Jane asked dumbfounded. Her heart started to beat faster by hearing the familiar last name. Last night, she found a letter from a woman with the same surname as the Medical Examiner. And now…

"Dr. Maura Isles, Chief Medical Examiner of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts. Everyone knows her, of course you do, right?" Frost asked curiously. In his opinion, everyone should know the Dr. Isles; he had read articles about her being the youngest medical examiner ever appointed in the history of Massachusetts, and that was amazing.

"Oh yeah! I read something about her works." Jane retorted sarcastically which was rewarded by rolling of eyes. "Unlike you, I don't read the papers or watch the news on my spare time, I usually watch the playoffs but yeah.. I know her. Of course."

There was something odd about how his partner answered; it was as if it has deeper meaning than it was supposed to be.

Clacking of heels interrupted his thoughts. Jane, on the other hand, seemed like she gotten tensed all of a sudden.

But she was indeed nervous.

This will be the first time she'll see the woman she broke. Her hands felt clammy, her heart was beating so fast that it seemed like it will flew out of the window.

And then she appeared.

"Everyone, this is Dr. Maura Isles, our new Medical Examiner. Please treat her with respect and kindness." Cavanaugh introduced before leaving the newly arrived ME.

Jane observed the woman infront of them. She was still the same woman physically but there was something about her that this is a different Maura infront of her.

Everyone greeted and welcomed the doctor but her. And when their eyes met, Jane saw a flicker of recognition before it was gone. Maybe it was just her imagination.

"Mau—" Jane started.

"Detective, I am Dr. Maura Isles. And I would like you to please address me as Dr. Isles or Doctor." Maura interrupted before leaving the dumbfounded Italian.

Yeah, different.

* * *

**So, she's back.**

**and yes, Jane's friend Emma is Emma Swan from Once Upon A Time :D**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hello! I would like to thank you guys for the sweet comments that I received and the follows and faves as well!**

**This chapter ain't as long as the others.. Been busy with work and I can't seem to write but i love writing for you guys so here it is.**

**Mistakes are still mine... no changes whatsoever.**

**and Rizzles is still not mine so.. yeah :) **

* * *

It has been seven days…

Seven days with nothing but side-glances and awkward conversations with the new Medical Examiner. Technically, Jane was the one acting odd with Dr. Isles.

Maura Isles was—is professional and there was nothing wrong with it. Except in Jane's mind.

'_Call me Dr. Isles' _Jane rolled her eyes at the thought. It still irked her that she can't call the woman the way she had before. All Jane wanted was to talk to Maura and not a with a mask called "Maura the Medical Examiner"

* * *

_It was the second day of Maura in the department and Jane wanted to talk to her so badly. She knew that what she wanted was borderline impossible but this was Maura she's talking about._

_She went to the morgue hoping to see and talk to the doctor. She has an excuse though, they were currently investigating a murder and Maura was doing the autopsy, therefore, she could barge in and talk to the woman._

"_The test result won't be here after an hour." Maura said flatly without looking up. Jane was stunned at how professional Maura's voice was, far from the sweet and soft voice she used back when they were together. The Maura she's saw was a fraud. Maybe Jane didn't know who Maura was._

'_**or maybe… it has been fifteen years since you saw her Jane. It's logic.'**__Jane thought. She wanted to scream but she didn't want to startle the woman who was too focused on what she was doing._

_She stood there just watching the honey blonde work her magic. Her précised cut of the Y incision made Jane's heart swoon with pride. This was Maura's dream._

_This was their dream._

_And at the thought, her heart constricted because she wasn't there when this amazing woman finished her studies. She wasn't there when she was appointed as the Commonwealth of Massachusetts' Chief Medical Examiner._

_Yes, she made mistakes on her life and as far as Jane knows… leaving Maura was the biggest mistake she did._

"_I said, the test results wouldn't be up for at least one hour. Do you need anything else?" Jane was startled at the voice and when she looked at the honey blonde examiner, an empty face met her._

_It was too professional for Jane's liking._

"_Detective?" _

"_Maura…" Jane started her voice laced with frustration and sadness._

"_I told you to call me Dr. Isles. I know you knew my first name is but we don't have to be on first name basis at work. Am I correct Detective Rizzoli?" _

_Jane was floored._

"_I… don't you know me?" Jane asked hesitantly. It was an out of the blue question but Jane thought it was stupid because this is Maura. And Maura is a genius and she can't easily forget anything or anyone._

_But…_

_She just need to know._

_She have to know…_

"_yes, of course." She said before focusing on the body she was dissecting once again._

_A glimmer of hope._

"_You are the youngest detective to be appointed in Boston."_

_Jane's mouth slowly turned upwards._

"_So, you are taking tabs on me." Jane said gaining a little bit of confidence._

"_No." Maura replied shortly. "I was just trying to know the people I'm going to work with."_

_All hope was thrown out of the door._

"_I…"_

"_Do you need anything else Detective?"_

"_I… just… nothing."_

_Jane walked towards the exit but not before glancing back at Maura. _

_This is not Maura. The Maura she knew laughs at small things that made her happy, takes things too seriously even if those were just small jabs on her research. The Maura she remembered can talk hours about flesh eating bacteria while having a stress free coffee talk._

_The Maura her heart knew was warm and sweet._

_Not this one._

_But maybe, this is the Maura.._

_The Maura that emerged after what she did._

_The Maura who did everything to forget her._

_This Maura was the one she hurt deeply._

_Jane opened the door and left. She sighed at the thoughts swarming her mind._

_Seeing this Maura, felt like a bucket of cold water was thrown her way. The impact of what she did slam on her face that she didn't know what to hold for support. She wanted to talk to her, tell her that she read the letter and she regretted everything she did._

_But… you can't change what really happened._

_You'll just have to hope that things will be different._

_But it isn't._

* * *

Jane was able to call Maura 'Dr. Isles' now. It took a lot of practice inside the bathroom, in front of the mirror, and even while trying to heat food that was stored by her mom or trying to watch baseball games with Jo Friday.

She wanted to make it seemed like it is the most normal thing to do. Respect the people you work with and respect their privacy when they wanted it.

However, seeing Maura every day made everything hard for Jane. Seeing the result of your stupidity after fifteen years made her wish that a bullet in her heart would have been better than seeing the love of your life purposely forgot you because you are an ass.

"Yes Ian. I will be there for dinner." Jane heard when she rounded the corner. She then heard a familiar chuckle and was astonished to what she saw. Maura was leaning on the door with a big smile on her face.

"I love you too, sweetheart. I'll see you later." Maura said sweetly before she ended the call.

It was an intimate pet name.

It was rather sweet for Jane's liking and she can't help but feel jealous of the intimacy. She had a glimpse of the old Maura she knew but it call came down with the fact that, someone was already making her happy. Someone already got her heart.

The reality of the situation hit Jane.

Maura's professionalism..

Maura's behavior towards her.

She _did_ forgot her.

* * *

Jane backed off after hearing the private conversation even if what she heard was just the tail end of it. It was when she was on her apartment that she remembered the name that was uttered by the beautiful doctor.

_Ian._

She remembered a guy named Ian.

He was the hideous Australian that kept on following Maura back in college. Maura said that he was just a friend and that she didn't need to be threaten by him because she was with Jane and nothing else mattered.

Of course, Jane believed it.

She loved—loves Maura so deeply that she won't think of anything that would ruin what they have. But it didn't mean she can't feel jealousy coursing in her veins.

That Ian could see Maura every day. They were freaking classmates to almost all of the subjects. She met him once and she found him shady. Her guts told her that there was something different about him but she can't make any conclusions unless she knew him better.

But it didn't happened.

The next thing she knew is that Maura was talking to an Ian and saying endless sweet nothings with him.

* * *

The past two weeks after the appointment of the Medical Examiner were actually a blur aside from solving a case that involved a manic-depressive artist who painted different realism with the blood of the people she killed. She said that it was red was her color and that those people have to die because they did bad things. It turned out that these people were her former classmates back in high school who nicked her for being weird.

She was brought to isolation after.

So, filing paper works had been the worst enemy for Jane. She'd rather kick some psychopath's ass than type on a computer telling how they solved the crime and how the brown-red stained on canvasses were actually thick liquid with DNA's of a person.

"I'm gonna get some coffee. Do you want some?" Jane asked Frost who was bored himself.

"Nah.. just had some tea from the Doc." He said.

"So, what are you now? All buddy buddy with her?" Jane asked. She was a bit irked that Maura could hand tea bags for Frost or other people but when it comes to her she's just an invincible piece of whatever.

She knew she have to stop this pity party. That if Maura didn't want to talk to her then she didn't need to.

She needed to grow up.

But… this is Maura.

She wants to make things right.

Before Frost could answer, Jane left the bullpen not wanting to deal with whatever she was about to hear. It was fine really if Frost wanted to talk to the Doctor it was his job. She just can't help herself for being jealous that he was able to do it and she can't.

She was about to leave the entrance when she saw a familiar face. He has a dirty look on his face wearing what it seemed to be an old jeans and v-neck shirt.

It was clearly someone she knew.

"Ian?" She asked curiously,

"Jane? Jane Rizzoli?" the person replied with a curious look on his face.

"What are you doing here?" _Maura._ Her brain answered her own question even if she wasn't actually sure if it was really the doctor he was looking for.

He was about to answer when a loud shriek was heard from below and a blur of blonde hair flew passed her.

"Mommy!" was all it shouted.

Jane looked to where the little blonde run off to.

And when she did.

She felt like the world crumbled on her feet.

The blonde blur was currently being carried by one Maura Isles.

* * *

**a little Maura?**


End file.
